I may be the villain in someone’s story. That used to be my biggest fear. I wanted to be the nice guy, a people pleaser, and solve everyone’s problems. I wanted to save the princess and the world. Now, I’m excited of having a different role. Yes, I’m a villain! Thankful for the opportunity. Thankful to be able to say, “No.” Otherwise, I will forever live under someone’s else’s demands. I am not a slave. I am a servant of God and “no” is the answer. I am a giver and serve God’s people, but with boundaries because takers don’t have any. I guess I am a villain.
“People pleasing ruins your life.
You abandon your needs.
You lose respect from others.
And you never form real relationships.
The only thing you gain is a false sense of being liked.
But it's never enough. And it never fulfills you.”
I may have isolated myself from everyone in order to protect my peace. It’s better to be alone, than in bad company. It’s better to be a warrior in a garden, than a gardener in a war. If it costs you your peace, it’s too expensive. Isolation is necessary and a great opportunity to turn off the noise. Sweet solitude, no drama. However, I am not afraid of the drama. I have been ostracized from the group. I have become the “black sheep” of the fam. Yes! Seems like martyrdom. These “little deaths” are sanctifying grace. I welcome them with open arms.
“The greatest abundance comes from finding peace with nothing.”
Detach from the world. Let go of what no longer serves you. Do things out of love, and expect nothing in return. What can take you years to build, someone can destroy in a day, build anyway. Others can make false assumptions about you, show up every day anyway. You may not be praised or supported, be great anyway.
“The biggest life hack is not trying to hack your way through life.
The gold is in the deep work.
The messy middle.
The dark night.
The unknown.
Let yourself get tangled up in something hard and watch who you become (and what you let go of) as you navigate your way through.”
Interesting enough, I asked for this. I asked for respect. I wanted to suffer. I prayed for the challenge. This will make me a better man. Refusing to be a doormat to be stepped on, fighting injustice, while still living your best life will get you temporarily disliked and mistreated. In the end, they will understand the lesson, and change their behavior. If they don’t, it’s still a win because I didn’t have to tolerate it.
“Just because you CAN handle something doesn't mean you SHOULD handle it. Capacity ≠ Obligation.”
I am the villain, the protagonist, and an extra that shows up for one scene. Maybe for a cameo or better yet an Easter egg. Since I am practicing stoicism, I don’t need to be the center of attention. Although, I could have my own series. I am not a TickTocker or YouTuber. I am just a villain in someone else’s story. Show me your misery and I’ll show you your ministry. This is it! I am a villain on a mission. Peace is on the way. Love is on the way.
If you find yourself in a villain role:
“Don’t freeze or flee. Learn how to discern, because the one thing you want the most: LOVE, requires the one thing you fear the most: VULNERABILITY.”
Once again, a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue. That’s pretty heroic for a villain. “You don’t have the guts to be what you want to be…You need people like me, so you can point your finger and say, ‘That’s the bad guy’…Say goodnight to the bad guy.” 🦹
-El chilito piquÃn
