What do I do for a Living?

Each night I ask the stars up above…At 11:11, I’m making the same wishes… Momma said they’d be days like this…These are the days that we’ll remember…I wanted to shock the world one day, now I want to shock the world everyday…What can I say? I already drove every car. I have nice cooked food. If I’m not producing the “wow” effect then why the heck do I get up in the morning? I’d be better off staying in bed. I go out to the world and I’m exposed to 100,000,000 germs everyday because I have to shake hands with every individual. They cannot go through my campus without knowing who I am and sharing some type of moment with me. Principals be like, teachers are absent we need someone to cover, “Me, me, me, pick me!” I will cover everyday for the rest of the year is what I told them. Who needs a conference period? That’s just to listen to music and catch a breather. I don’t take breaks I just break records. That’s what I been saying since the 4th ring. At the beginning of school there’s a minute of silence. Do you know how important that minute is? Calling all angels…Somebody is not having a good day. Happy meals for everyone! Am I insane? This is the normal side of me because insane doesn’t kick in until April, May and June. Where’s my easy button. I need to get a fácil button from Staples. Does anybody need a hug? That’s what the world lacks, hugs, they are scarce. Justice will be served. The cream will rise to the top. The votes will be counted. Anyone can hide, but nobody can hide their heart. Let’s say a joke. Life’s a joke, joke around. Hello, bueno, Coach Núñez is not here, he went home. Home is where the heart is. Deng, what happened? Oh, let me investigate. He did what? She did what? Intervention! Excuse me. Help me. What’s a matter? I’m more Mexican than a jalapeño pepper. Are those even Mexican? Hey Ah! Please refrain from doing that. No, my team didn’t lose. We never lose any games, we just run out of time. “Coach!” “Coach!!” “Cooaacchh!!!” Hey kids. Let’s get this party started. Uno, dos, tres. Moral of the story, don’t do drugs. Life is a dance floor. Hey, welcome, come on in, make yourself at home. I don’t have enough seats and I don’t get paid until the first of next month, but join us in this adventure. It’s beginning to look at lot like Christmas. I eat tamales because it’s the only thing I can unwrap. Who am I kidding? I have the new iPhone 5 and mini iPad, the latest and greatest technology devices. I am an old stereo boom box with iPod capabilities. I want to be the best and to be the best you have to win. How do I do it? No furniture, no nonsense, no homework, and no extra work. Work hard, work smart, and laugh your butt off. lmbo. Okay, let’s get serious, wait, it’s not May yet. Who cares? Fieldtrip time! Pep rally next week! No uniform day! Vote for Pedro! Better yet vote for Pánfilo Montebello de la Cruz the 3rd. I was just kidding, j/k. These girls are crazy, but I’m flattered by the attention, some things never change. Okay let’s learn something finally. In 1996 Kobe Bryant was drafted by the Charlotte Hornets. Haha! My kids are learning Spanish the easy way. The results are in. My Spanish students are beasts! You think I’m going to give out my secrets? Heck no, we’re number 1 because number 2 is the first to lose and number 3 is still wondering what number they are. Those were the days. This new generation is not ready. They’re not ready to deal with a person like me. Do I need to tell everyone my business? I’m not from this world, but I’m stuck here, so I might as well embrace it. You only live twice. Oh, I mean once. Hash tag time! #ForeverAlone. Once upon a time, in the Permian Basin…Officer, don’t pull me over again. I haven’t received any tickets, but thanks for another warning. I’m on a roll. Play the game. Am I lucky? No, but that’s the name of my dog, he’s lucky because he’s my dog. Haha! ¿Qué onda Ese? Oh, you’re a gangster? órale, that makes two of us. Hey that teacher is looking at me weird, let me go say hi and introduce myself for the 7th year in the row. Laugh out loud. I want to help everyone. Every person needs individual attention. Let’s see if I can make it happen. I’m in the support system with my colleagues basically it’s called the Kobe System, but I don’t tell them that, they’ll freak out. Let’s play ball. Ref, Mr. Referee, can I have your autograph? I’m your biggest fan. Touchdown Mustangs! 3-point shot is good! Finish line here we come. Gotta love it…I can’t wait to get up the next morning and do it again. What do I do for a living? Can I tell you a secret? I am a superhero, if you don’t believe that, then you don’t believe in miracles. Each night I ask the stars up above…At 11:11, I’m making the same wishes…Momma said they’d be days like this…(Magical Realism).