Mother's Day

Written on 5/12/2013: There's this void. Emptiness feeling. The most frustrating part is not having her here with me. We would be living it up with no more worries. We would be motivating each other and enjoying one another's presence. Traveling the world. Doing whatever, whenever. Let’s go to church, let’s pray for our families, our enemies and for the bear. Everyone else has their mom or a spouse or someone there. I just feel alone in this world. This is just what I have to do. God blessed me with the most wonderful mother in the world and that led to me today. I wouldn't trade her for anyone else. Even though I feel lonely not having her around. If they were to tell me you can have a mother for 50 years or you can have your mother for 19 years. I would chose my mother over and over again.

Oh-oh-oh I, I hope your dancing in the sky

and I hope your singing in the angels choir

I hope the angels, know what they have

I bet it's so nice up in heaven since you've arrived

We already know how beautiful a mother’s love is. This year, marks year number eleven and twelve without her physically present. The only day that I dread going to mass on Sunday is on Mother’s Day. Everyone, young and old, is accompanied by their mother, grandmother, or maybe even the mother of their children. I’m just sitting there like, #turnup. I reflected last year on this. I only had her for nineteen years, but if God would have asked me: you can have another woman to be your mother for fifty or eighty years or Maria De Jesus Dominguez for nineteen, I would chose my “Chiquita” 100 of 100 times without hesitation.

Your mother is always with you...

She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street.

She's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks.

She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well.

Your mother lives inside your laughter.

She's crystallized in every tear drop...

She's the place you came from, your first home...

She's the map you follow with every step that you take.

She's your first love and your first heart break....

and nothing on earth can separate you.

Not time, Not space...

Not even death.... will ever separate you from your mother....

You carry her inside of you....

-Anonymous

 

Mass wasn’t so bad this year. God made me feel comfortable. I even dressed up more than usual. It was a special day. After all, I met everyone’s mother on Instagram today, so they had to meet mine, the women who gave birth to a star. All jokes aside, I have mentioned time and time again how special my mom is to me. I miss her more every day, but I know she is watching over us. Momma’s prayers are the reason a lot of us are still here.