We look at Christ as example of how to live. In ministry, charity, prayer life, and so forth. Also, we should look to Him as an example on how to die. In His own humanness, he went through anguish especially in knowing and having to suffer gruesomely without mercy. When I made the decision to move back home to Los Angeles, California, it was with martyrdom in mind. I had to prepare for the persecution that needs to be endured. I had gone through prejudice, ridicule, failure, and heartaches. I was battle tested, a veteran, a champion. I felt ready!
“Affliction produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope.” -Fr. Mike Schmitz
I was ready to embark into the unknown. I was ready to die, maybe that meant just die to myself. After all, when a man gets married, he is mainly portrayed in a black suit, while the bride is glorified in white resembling purity, and new beginnings. The man basically attends his own funeral by choice, signaling the end, because he chooses to willingly die to himself for the woman he loves. Nevertheless, he also like the bride begins a new chapter. It’s the end of an old life and the beginning of a new! What a wondrous vocation, if it is in God’s will. I came here to die!
“I’m not scared to death of dying, I’m scared to death of dying and having God tell me, ‘(Angelica), this might have been you had you trusted more.’” -Mother Angelica
Last week, I was going up and down the mountains of Big Bear, California, completing obstacle after obstacle, and hours later felt like I have exhausted every inch of my being. There’s something you discover over and over again. Even when the rankings showed improvement and recognition. Deep down you realize something, that you’re only getting started. There will be faster times and more awards. Deep down, you know you have become too tough to kill because you are doing things that most people wouldn’t even dare. This isn’t about running, or competing. This isn’t about marriage or careers. People still wouldn’t even dare.
“It is YOU, You passed an unimaginable test that many of the toughest Marines, commanders, green berets, astronauts and geniuses could not. You are made of heroes who ever lived, heroes born among ordinary people and shine in the dark.”
20 years ago, I began my teaching and coaching career. I was surrounded by so many mentors. Men with so much wisdom. I wanted to be like them. Did I? I didn’t want their life at all. I wanted their confidence. They told me the story about the young bull and the old bull. Both the young and old bull, went up the hill and saw a herd of sheep. The young bull, jumping up and down overly excited, asked, “Are we gonna get one?” The old bull, calm and collected, very well regulated, stoic, wise, answered: “Get One? No, we’re gonna down there, and we’re gonna get ‘em all!”
I was the young bull once. I wouldn’t call myself the old bull now, but perhaps the polished one. That says, with credibility, experience, confidence, FAITH, and assurance, “We’re going to get it all!! Everything is there for the taking.”
I’m here to lead people, I’m here to serve, I’m here to die!
